I'm running a 11.5lb MM M20 flywheel in mine. Perfectly pleasant to drive, no chatter, shifts smooth. The M20 PP weighs 5lbs more than the M42 one, so really the entire assembly is 13lbs lighter rather than 18lbs.
Rattle. Yup. Car sounds like a coffee can full of rocks when idling with the clutch pedal up. I also get some fairly loud rattle/grind when engine braking in 5th gear under 40MPH and sometimes in 3rd gear if the road is smooth (quiet). I cared at first, but at this point I just ignore it. Maybe the car DOES sound like an old beater, but since I live in an area where people have way more money than brains, I'd have to drive a new $80k car to "get any respect" anyway. Since impressing strangers isn't exactly on my list of concerns it's all good. Now, if you are a little more concerned with being seen in a car that sounds like it is falling apart (and it's perfectly fair to want to avoid that), then maybe stick with the stock flywheel. Even when I ran a stock 19lb M20 flywheel, I had some tranny rattle. Not nearly as loud as it is now, but it was there.
I am running RedLine MT90. It is a little quieter than RedLine MTL. Both are quiet when the tranny is cold, but once it heats up and thins out the oil it gets noisy. Wazzu's suggestion about the gear oil mix sounds intriguing and I'll probably try that next time I am due for a fluid flush.
I avoid sitting with the clutch pedal pressed at idle. Certainly on a stock engine it is not a hot plan because that half-shell thrust bearing is notorious for pooping out, and idle is when oil pressure is lowest. I have a full 360 degree thrust bearing pair, but even still I don't want to put any undue stress on it. On a related note, NEVER start the car with the clutch pressed in. Full clutch force on half a thrust bearing with zero oil pressure is going to lead to massive crank end play eventually, guaranteed.