First off, do you have an E36 or an E30?
If you have an E36 with the Getrag 250G transmission you can use just about any E36 clutch and flywheel combination.
I have the UUC 11.5lbs flywheel, E34M5 Clutch, and E36M3 pressure plate (also known as UUC Stage 1) and I love it. But you also should have the E36M3 slave cylinder so your pedalis so hard to work.
If you have an E30, I believe you can modify the M20 clutch assembly to fit your M42, gaining a lighter flywheel in the process (which is a good thing on these motors). But I do believe this also requires that you modify your starter as the teeth are different on M42 flywheels compared to M20 flywheels. There should be a nice write up on here about the conversion.