The hard part is that the original oil weights suggested when the car first came out are a little different then they are now. Synthetic wasn't common back then and even conventional oils have changed a little(for the better).
My suggestion is to use oil with a BMW LongLife approval. All BMW engnes with the exception of the S54, S65, and race motors are designed to run on this type of oil. The most common oils are BMW Castrol 5w-30 from the dealer or Mobil 1 0w-40.
If gaskets do start leaking from using synthtic, that means the gasket needs to be replaced and the oil is just doing it's job of dissolving engine sludge.
And you want something with a 0w or 5w in the weight of the oil, especially I you live in colder climates. This means that the oil will act like a thinner oil when you first start up your car and the engine is cold. If the oil is say a straight 40 weight, at -10 C the oil will be like cold maple syrup and will barely even circulate through your engine(which means lots of wear).