The connectors (there are two) for the rear window defogger are located in the lower corners of the glass, a couple of inches up from the bottom. The cable looks like this:

There should be a tab on each side of the glass that the black connector plugs into. If the tabs have been removed, you are pretty much out of luck. I know that it is possible to replace these tabs, but I haven't ever heard of anyone making that actually work.
To remove the parcel shelf, you have to first remove the rear seat. Then, remove the rear speakers. Then, using a wide flat bladed pry tool or screw driver, remove the covers over the seat belt winders by pushing in from the front towards the rear of the car and prying upwards. It's a little tricky, but it can be done. Once the covers are off the winders, slide them down the seat belt strap. There is a trim retainer in the middle of the parcel shelf that clips into the steel underneath, but the whole tray should pretty much just pop off from the front. You don't have to remove the seat belts, just slide the tray down where the upper rear seat was.
You can (barely) see one of the connectors in this picture, lower left corner of the glass.
