I'm not sure what the cutoff for the v-belt accessory drive is...sometime in '93, maybe? Hard to tell based on production date and model year differences.
I'm not 100% sure, but IIRC my P/S pump came with a bent tensioner bracket - it was pretty easy to line it up. I also think the motor mounting bracket is also asymmetric - it could be mounted entirely backwards. I deleted the whole system later anyway, LOL.
Given the low compression and other wear & tear, you're right about needing another motor. Low mileage M42s seem fairly uncommon though. As for the proper computer - the only way I know is to grab the DISA DME from the donor DISA car.

I had originally thought that all E36s had them, but I've seen the early manifolds on a few early E36s. There are a wide variety of DMEs for E36 M42s (357, 387, 590, 990...). I don't have a list of the DISA units, nor do I know off-hand which cars require the silver-label EWS-II units. All the EWS units should have the VIN printed on them, must match your transmission, and either require a dealer reprogramming or a wiring mod to run in a different car. BMW calls that 'aligning' the DME with the chassis electronics & keys. The E30s all have a 179 DME.
I'm pretty sure there isn't any chassis differences in the E36 sedan/coupe diffs regardless of motor, except for the M3. The M50B25 (325i, 323i) isn't all that much more powerful than the M42 regardless (189hp vs 138 and 181lb-ft vs 129). BTW, the 318Ti, Z3 and MZ3 rear suspensions are entirely different beasts, of course. You can use their motor & transmissions, but not the driveshaft or diff as they are based on the older E30 design.
I have bought entire cars just for motors, and I have also bought spare cars while waiting for my primary car to be repaired...it's a sickness, I know...but it's worked out so far. There are thousands of disposable FWD boxes like Cavaliers, Escorts, Neons, Sentras, Corollas and Focuses... My favorite disposable spear-carrier was a $300 Toyota Starlet. I bought it while waiting for my SAAB 900 to be resurrected. Two months later I drove it to a scrap yard and sold it for $200. Ended up costing me $100 + gas for the two months I drove it; far less than the bill for repairing the SAAB. I ended up keeping the wrong one!