The tach plug is a lot smaller, rectangular in section and has three wires. I think it was called the C103 connector. It should be in all e30s before the wiring update in mid-'87(?). You should also have an idle control harness with a large green plug that was eliminated in later 1.3 versions of the Motronic system. Like others have mentioned, it must be spliced into the large motronic plug in order to make the tach functional.
I had two plugs very similar to that one on a '90 325i harness - one was white and the other was black. They didn't connect to anything. I've never know what they were for, figured it was for the stereo or some sort of OEM dealer-installable security system.