I know what you mean! Having been part of both a M42 and a M20 rebuild at some point I've noticed a lot of pros and cons between them. In my opinion the 4 cylinder has a lot of great ideas thrown in (Oil filter housing, lots of engine bay space, etc) but nothing really that makes it a clear choice over the 6. For a 20+ year old car my 318i does handle very well, but I've always questioned whether a stock 325i could really be that much more clumsy in corners due to the extra displacement and cylinders.
Also, this could have been my own silly errors, but when doing my head gasket no matter how hard I tried the timing skipped on my M42 at some point and I had to spend a lot of time getting it back right. Sure, the chain looked and sounded great for its age but as you said Dave a belt isn't that much more of a hassle in the long run...
M20 also gets points for the noise level. When I started my first 318 I was surprised at how loud it was! Now I know that it's just normal for this engine. First time driving the one I had now even I was paranoid about every little "tap" and "tick". I guess the benefit of all of that is a really tough DOHC motor. 200k and smooth as butter, both on this engine and the one in my old 318is.