...I think. Haven't had any chance to dig but wouldn't crank at all, power locks ain't so "powerful" right now -- heading out for the night so can't look at it until tomorrow afternoon, but basically the right wiper was a good second or so behind the left wiper, which itself was a bit weak and couldn't keep up, so while the ignition was off, I tried to see if there was any play in either wiper by moving it through it's normal arc and yeah, it easily moved back and forth, not sure if it should.
Now this morning I had to steal the wife's car because it wouldn't turn over at all; battery's likely dead. Could the wiper motor still be running? bad relay? fuse? Other than that, car's been starting great and haven't had any issues at all except for limp wipers over the last couple of weeks.