The difficulty with asking about oil viscosity, is, you ask 100 different people, you get 100 different answers, as the saying goes.
I was in the exact same spot you are a couple years ago, and I spotted a post on this forum from an actual petro-chemist (don't recall his USER ID) but he recommended Shell Rotella T 5W-40 (in the blue jug.) He indicated he used it in his own E30 & that was good enough for me. I've used nothing other than that in my E30 318is. Motor has 164,XXX on it.
I'll probably get hung out to dry for posting the above, but, just my experience. Your mileage may vary.