Ok let me correct myself its audible at highway speeds under any load, it just blends in more with the rest of the racket when the car is put into neutral.
At speed, it sorta makes the same metal/sandpaper like dragging sound a you hear from a dying throw-out bearing.
Sounds like its coming from beneath the rear seat, or the tranny tunnel right in front of the rear seat. I've heard this on other e30's too, it seems to be a common problem.
One of the diff bearings maybe?
I read the fuel pump could make this noise, but I'm sure thats not it, since I don't hear it when the car is not moving.