The white main relay is installed. So if I'm not get constant +12V on pin 26 what could cause that? Wiring issue or something else.
If you could get me that pin out, that would be awesome. The M42 and E30 are new to me, most of my BMW knowledge is E34's and E38's.
I think pin #26 is wired right off the battery via that smaller wire with the fusible link. You're getting 12VDC to the top terminal of the positive junction block on the firewall, right? IIRC that upper terminal splits off to all the un-fused components except the starter & maybe alt. Not sure on that. Are you 100% sure all the red wires are connected to that terminal block? There's a bunch of them.
From the ETM, you should have power at all times on pin #30 of both the main & FP relays, pin #14 of the round diag connector, and DME harness pin #26.
You should see the CEL briefly light up every time you turn the key to Run or Start. If you don't, it's a good chance the DME isn't powering up. I'd follow the voltage to see how far it goes...battery to fusible, fusible to junction block, block to DME harness, etc.
I couldn't find the pinout (at least I wasn't 100% sure it was the correct one), but the electrical troubleshooting manual
can be downloaded here. I use
the '92 'vert ETM since it's more complete than the '91 version.
I've had flaky relays on these cars too - it's possible that the relay is passing a little current but not enough to start the DME when everything else is running.