The oil leak on the side of your engine, is it coming off the engine block or just that area?
It could possibly be the crankcase breather system which famously gets clogged on the m42/m44.
I took mine off a few weeks ago, cleaned it in a parts washer and cleaned all the oily gunk out of the intake manifold and then put it back together.
This completely transformed the car and makes it soo much smoother and with allot more torque.
However i think that an oil leak is the least of your problems.
Metal in the oil is like finding blood in your urine.....you know that something is seriously wrong!!
Do you still have any of these metal particles? if so you should clean them up and see if they are a cooper shade of metal, and if you find particles that are burnt cooper (starting to sound like an ad for hair dye

) then you know that youve spun a bearing.
The spun bearing theory would also match your problem of it over heating and burning oil, as with a spun bearing the clearances on the bearing would have changed and now the oil that is getting into the bearing is getting heated up and burnt rapidly.
The list you have is good in terms of maintenance but i would add : "clean the breather system" to the list
My advice would be either
strip the engine and take the block to an engine builders who could advise you on the machining required to fit oversized bearings.
or
Take off the sump and inspect the damage yourself
or
Dissassemble the engine, check for the spun bearing and then buy a new short block to replace your damaged one.
(this may actually work out cheaper then having your old block machined)
While rebuilding the engine you might be able to justify some modifications aswell if money allows
