This is where a coolant pressure tester comes in handy. Pump the system up to 20 psi and look for leaks. I've done this and looked in the cylinder with a flash light or bore scope and watched water entering the combustion chamber showing the bad head gasket as the culprit.
That one oil fouled plug is odd... could be a number of things.
I'll offer my advice as a tech. You
really really should go invest in an inexpensive compression tester and
do a compression test of all four cylinders. Not sure if you've done that so here's the procedure:
Important! Pull main relay. Middle of fire wall under black plastic cover, the one on the right (passenger side) of three. This will keep the car from starting. Remove spark plug from the cylinder you'll be testing.
Screw in compression tester hose, reset gauge to zero ( it will hold a reading until you release the pressure).
Crank engine for six compression strokes
with throttle wide open.
Read gauge and write down the readings. Reset gauge.
Test remaining cylinders.
What's it all mean?
If you have a difference of 20 psi or more between cylinders, something is wrong with the low cylinder. Something like a bad head gasket or a cracked head. Sometimes you'll get two cylinders next to each other that read low. This almost always a blown head gasket, right between those cylinders. I hope it's not the case, but I'm still leaning towards the possible cracked head. Here's why.
Sometimes the crack will only open when it's in a critical over heat situation like idling for a long period of time or being in stop/start traffic. The coolant comes into the cylinder and when you rev the engine, you blow the coolant through the engine and out the exhaust in the form of steam. You might get a bit of heat dissipation during that higher rev of driving or accelerating and the crack temporarily closes. The only other place coolant can come in is through a bad head gasket OR
maybe the preheat plate between the throttle body and the intake, and I would think that's pretty damn unlikely. Any of you guys that might have seen a leak there please chime in.
If you DO know all about doing a compression test, then thank you for you patience.

Good luck.
Dino