well... more good news.
I started out checking the grounds from the schematic... those looked good.
I checked to make sure my switch worked correctly - it did.
Then i started tracing continuity from the switch to the fuse box (the switch basically passes ground on several different wires to the big relay in the fusebox).
Easy way to do this was the schematic has the relay pin labeled on it, and of course they're labeled on the bottom of the relay as well... translate that to the pinout on the fusebox and it all makes sense...
High speed checked out OK of course, and then i went to test the low speed, and looked at the hole in the fusebox and realized there was no metal on the "inside"... oops. Turns out the connector on the backside had pushed out of the plastic slot and wasn't making good connection.
I opened up the fusebox (three screws, top left, bottom, and bottom right under the foglight relay) and shoved everything back in place while re-installing the original wiper relay.
Everything works now... well, aside from the washer PUMP which i've determined is burnt out, and probably what my brother/sister-n-law was smelling inside the cab. Still smells burnt even now.
So, there you have it... check your wiring/connections - pretty easy for it to be one of the causes of only half of the windshield wiper speeds working. (although i also believe my original replacement motor was burnt/burning out as well - it was very weak on high and sometimes didn't work at all on high).
So, i'm off to find a washer pump motor